How do you define who you are as a person? If you’re unsure how to answer, don’t worry – you’re not alone. To uncover your true self, you must embark on a journey of self-discovery.
Self-discovery is the process of learning more about who you are and what you want in life. Studies suggest we may feel alienated or contemptuous when we aren’t living authentically.
The path to self-discovery may seem ambiguous and uncomfortable. But, it doesn’t have to be as long as you’re willing to engage in honest self-reflection. Making small adjustments to your life will add up over time. And, before you know it, you’ll feel a sense of freedom and empowerment.
A simple first step towards uncovering your innermost self is discovering your core values.
How to Find your Core Values
Core values are the guiding principles that dictate how you live your life. They represent your ideals and aspirations. They help you make decisions that align with who you are as a person.
For me, moving up the career ladder caused my self-identity to become fused with being a software engineer. It gave me a sense of importance and standing in society. But it also made me terrified that if I ever lost my career, I would lose my sense of self.
Many people make a similar mistake of defining themselves based on external factors. Do you only see yourself as a spouse, parent, or employee rather than a unique human being? If so, then you’ve fallen into the trap of tying your identity to the outside world.
Instead, try aligning your lived experience with your innermost core values. This is one of the most crucial steps in your journey of self-discovery.
Discovering your personal core values requires introspection and honest reflection. Take time to consider the following:
- Who or what makes you feel most supported in your life?
- How do you prefer to spend your time when you’re not obligated by work or family?
- What are your strengths, and how would you like to put them to use?
As you reflect, themes will begin to emerge. You may see your answers grouped around ideas like creative expression or adventure. These themes reveal the things you value most in life.
How To Align With Your Core Values
You don’t need to throw your whole life away and start over to align with your core values. But making small consistent adjustments will start to help you feel more freedom and balance.
Consider how you live out your core values in different areas of your life:
Career
List the core values you want to live out in your career. Does your workplace support and nurture these values? Are any of these values being violated in your current work environment?
If you can’t live out your values at work, you may need to reconsider your life’s calling. Either find a way to make tweaks at work, or it could be time to switch jobs.
Relationships
Consider what matters most to you in your relationships with your partner, family, and friends. Are you showing up as your truest self? Can you fully express who you are?
Don’t feel tethered to a relationship for the wrong reasons. For example, if you feel like you can’t be authentic in your romantic relationship, it may be time to explore ending the relationship. You will be happier with someone who accepts you as you truly are.
Spirituality
Reflect on the ways in which you are developing yourself spiritually. Do you feel centered? Does your spiritual practice make you feel connected to the world? Or do you feel constricted and restrained by your beliefs?
If you don’t feel a connection with a higher purpose, consider rebuilding your spiritual practice.
It may take some time to discover your core values and bring your life back to alignment. But, remember that the process is more important than the destination. So, don’t be afraid to use trial and error, and be patient with yourself throughout the process.
So what are you waiting for? Start exploring and find out what makes you unique.
