Healthy relationships require openness and understanding. So, building strong communication habits is essential to keeping a relationship thriving.
Practicing mindfulness in your communication can help strengthen your relationship and reduce conflict. Mindful communication can also make you a better listener.
You can improve your communication skills through deliberate exercises. These communication exercises for couples will help you develop presence and connectedness with your partner.
What Does Mindful Communication Look Like?
Be Intentional
Consider the intention behind each communication. Mindful communication promotes safe expression that fosters your connection.
A 2016 study suggests that happier couples communicate more positively. Be intentional about when, how, and what you communicate with your partner. Your relationship will feel more satisfying and supportive.
Be Self-Aware
Know your tendencies during conflicts. Knowing your conflict communication style is an important part of good communication in a relationship. There are four styles of conflict to avoid while communicating with your partner.
1. Criticism
Inevitably, you will have complaints about the relationship. The key is to express your concerns in a way that avoids attacking personal character. Know the difference between voicing a concern (“I feel”) and a personal attack (“you are”).
2. Contempt
Avoid bottling up your anger towards your partner. It will erupt in the form of disrespectful comments that communicate dislike.
3. Defensiveness
Many couples fall victim to a cycle of defensiveness. When your partner shares a concern, practice active listening and validate their concerns. Otherwise, you may end up making the problem worse.
4. Stonewalling
If you experience the three conflict styles above, you may make a habit out of shutting the other person out. Withdrawing from interaction communicates an unwillingness to resolve conflict.
Mindful communication practice helps you unlearn these tendencies. Over time, you can replace them with healthier modes of expression.
Be Open
Let down your walls and invite your partner to know your most authentic self. Share your observations about the world and try novel experiences together. Stay open to feedback and embrace change in your communication patterns. It will increase your chances of a longer, more successful relationship.
3 Mindful Communication Exercises For Couples
1. Empty Bowl Listening
Active listening is one of the best relationship communication activities for couples.
For empty bowl listening, one partner shares their thoughts about a topic of their choice. The other partner practices active listening as an “empty bowl.” The listener can only use nonverbal communication to show comprehension.
Once both partners have shared, ask follow-up questions.
Interruptions devalue your partner’s perspective. The purpose behind this exercise is to develop mindful listening skills. Active listening shows your partner you care about what they have to say.
2. Mirroring
Mirroring is one of the most effective communication exercises for couples. Part of building mindful habits of communication is validating what your partner says.
To practice mirroring, ask your partner to express something they’re feeling. When they finish, respond by offering your version of what you heard. For example, “What I heard you say was that…” or “Let’s see if I have this right, you’re saying…”
If your partner agrees with your interpretation, continue to elicit their thoughts. For example, “Tell me more about…”
Set aside up to 30 minutes of time to talk until you exhaust the topic. Only offer responses that mirror understanding.
This practice ensures that your partner feels deeply understood. In addition to mirroring their verbal communication, you should also mirror their body language.
3. I Feel Loved By You When
This is one of the most fun relationship exercises for couples communication. One partner begins by saying, “I feel loved by you when…” and completes the sentence. The only response given by the second partner is, “Thank you.”
Saying “thank you” prevents any positive or negative opinion from silencing your partner’s perspective. After saying thank you, offer your “I feel loved” statement. See how long you can continue this exercise before you run out of ideas. The purpose is to express gratitude for the ways in which your partner shows you love.
These couples’ communication exercises will help launch your journey towards mindful expression. As conflicts arise throughout the relationship, keep in mind the power of forgiveness.
Building your mindful communication practice will take time and patience. Strong, healthy communication will be worth it in the end.
